Not the "Guy Thing" or "Girl Thing," Do the Right Thing 
  By Dr. Vijai Sharma

 Recent shootings in schools have involved break up of relationship with a girl friend, the love unrequited, or gone sour.  Therefore, this week, the class of "Living 201," is studying a guide specifically prepared for teens by the American Psychological Association (APA), "Love Doesn't Have To Hurt Teens."  During a heated discussion on the subject, one student of our class said, "Love has to hurt sometime.  How can it be that love never hurts?   "Sometimes love can hurt," replied another, "but, when it hurts, bear it with grace.  No guns, no violence, PLEASE!"  
Love can always hurt, but it doesn't ever have to hurt like this.  One of the reasons love hurts is because we blindly follow the stereotypes about males and females.  These stereotypes hurt us.  We are really hung up on this  "guy thing" and "girl thing."  
In the words of the APA, guys often have the idea that it's a guy thing to act tough and to treat girls like property, like they own them.  Guys often try to get their friends' approval by acting like they don't care about anything or anyone.   A guy who likes a particular girl might show off for his friends by treating her badly.  Since she is supposed to be on this planet entirely to serve him, she dare not leave him even if she wants to.  Only he can leave her when he gets tired of her.    

APA goes on to explain that girls may accept the idea that it's a "guy thing" to push girls around, and so they should learn to go along with it.  Many girls believe that it is a "girl thing" to try to figure out and do whatever will keep their boyfriends happy.  They feel they have to do only what the guy wants.  Girls may put up with the guy treating them badly around other guys, with his being really possessive, or being violent and abusive.  

Let's do away with the guy thing and the girl thing, and follow the "right thing."  The right thing is to respect whom you love.  Love should be the only kind of force used between two lovers.         

Return to Self Help

Copyright 1996, Mind Publications

Click for Dr. Sharma's credentials
Dr. Vijai Sharma
Your Life Coach
By Telephone

Feedback- Let us know how we are doing

Terms and Conditions

Web site designed and maintained by Chanda Taylor